Breathe Me
by BrittanyZadro
Summary: When Carson Gardner walked into Fangtasia, she never imagined that one person could change the entire course of her life. Now, after years of running from forces beyond her control, she's back looking for answers from the one and only Eric Northman. There's just one problem...Eric doesn't remember Carson...Or who he is...Eric/OC/themes from Season 4. Please review!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The sound of thunder echoed throughout the deserted woods as I swiftly weaved around trees and bushes. Moving in the darkness was a challenge, but I let the sporadic lightning strikes of the summer storm guide me to what I hoped would be safety. My breathing was erratic; the humidity from the storm made it nearly impossible to breathe. Although stopping is something that could have cost me my life, I collapsed against a tree, needing to regain some energy. I panted and dug my nails violently into the mud around me as I gasped for air. In my peripheral vision, I could see the blood oozing out of the large gash on my forearm. I brought my hand to the gash and hissed in pain as I applied pressure to the wound. My breathing ceased as I heard them drawing nearer. I had to move.

I began running again and felt several rocks slice my bare feet. I stumbled and almost fell but didn't stop, knowing what would happen if they caught me. They were too close to me now. I looked around, noting possible ways I could escape, but found none. No matter which way I ran, they would find me. They always did. I finally came to the realization that I couldn't outrun them. I would have to fight.

My eyes darted around the area. A few hundred feet away from me, there was a tree with low enough branches to climb. I ran for it, jumped and let my hands grasp a limb. With much effort, I pulled myself up. The limb was wide enough that I could lie perfectly flat, so I rolled onto my back, feeling my backpack full of worn clothes and my essential supplies press against me. My hand moved for the holster attached to my hip and I pulled out the gun. I heard them drawing closer and held my breath. Slowly, I rolled onto my stomach and leaned over the branch just a few inches so they wouldn't be able to see me in the darkness. I cocked the gun and let my finger slide down to the trigger, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

I heard twigs snap and looked down to see that the two wolves were below me. I aimed at the first, knowing that it wouldn't expect what I was about to do. As I pulled the trigger, the bullet flew with impeccable speed and logged itself into the wolf's cranium. The second wolf barely had time to register what happened when it received a bullet into its head. The two shots rang throughout the woods and I waited until their echo stopped to climb down from the tree.

By the time my feet touched the ground, the wolves had already turned back into their human form. "Fucking werewolves," I sighed as I slid my gun back into the small holster. I looked around the desolate area and decided that I would head west. Once again, I ran through the darkness and stayed close to the shadows. Sometimes, it felt like the shadows were my only salvation in this hell that had become my life.

I ran for what felt like miles until my feet scraped across the pavement of the two-car road. I walked on the shoulder just in case I needed to duck back into the dark woods. In the distance, I saw lights, alerting me that I was nearing civilization.

I sighed as I saw the sign of the city I was in.

Shreveport.

I was where I needed to be.

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><p>It didn't take me long to find a small motel on the outskirts of the town. I entered the compact lobby and my eyes didn't meet those of the man behind the counter. I could only imagine how odd I looked to him.<p>

"What the hell happened to you?" he asked, with shock and curiosity in his voice.

"I need a room," I replied, altogether ignoring his question. I assume I looked intimidating, or maybe it was out of sheer shock on his behalf because he slid a key across the counter along with a sign in sheet.

"You won't have to pay till you check out, but guests have to sign in."

I used the pen sitting on the counter and scribbled my name. Carson Gardner.

I grabbed my key and looked down at the engraved seven. It made me think of my birthday; I was born in July. I was in my 28th year, but ever since I had transitioned; I had stopped counting my birthdays.

I headed for the room and looked around at the dark sky. I could no longer hear the sounds of thunder or see the short glimpses of lightning. The night was silent now except for the faint chirps of crickets. I stepped in a few puddles on my way to the room with the red door. I slid the key into the hole and turned the knob. The room was dark, but somehow comforting; I was used to the darkness. I felt on the wall for the light switch and the room was instantly illuminated. The room was small and consisted of a full bed, a chair and a television set. The bathroom was small as well. I made my way into the bathroom first and began stripping off my dirty and torn clothes, placing my gun and the holster to the side and throwing my backpack on the floor. I turned on the ancient bathtub and stepped inside. The lukewarm water felt good on my skin and I meticulously scrubbed off the dirt and blood off my body and my feet. The gash on my arm and the other wounds I had sustained in the chase had already healed. One of the perks of being immortal…you healed quickly. After draining the bathtub several times, I deemed myself as clean.

My bath had caused the small room to fill with steam and I brought my hand to the mirror and wiped off the vapor.

I stared in awe at my appearance, mesmerized by the fact that in the eight years since my transitioning, I hadn't aged at all.

My black hair was wild and rippled down my shoulders and back. My skin was scared, yet nearly translucent and the contrast with my skin and my hair made me look almost ghostlike. It had been nearly two years since I had looked in a mirror. I had forgotten the severe and electric shade of blue that my eyes are. Beneath my eyes were large dark circles that had grown more prominent with the less and less sleep I got. After everything that had occurred, I was convinced that sleeping for long periods of time wasn't safe. I was scared of not waking up again.

I moved to the chair next to the bed and pulled my fingers through my wet hair and reached into my backpack and pulled on some clean clothes—a pair of jeans and a black v-neck—along with a pair of socks and old Converse. I began plotting my next move, but to be honest, I never planned what I'd do once I got back to Louisiana

I never thought I'd make it back here to the city I had called home for a brief period of time. I assumed something or someone would kill me before I got the chance. After running for so long, I began to feel numb…and thought that someone would be me. Only recently did I begin to feel depressed. The feeling of hopelessness began to set in when I was at the California border. For the first time in two years, I thought I was free. I thought that the wolves were no longer looking for me, searching for something that had been lost before I was even born. But I was wrong. Still, I never quite understood what I was running from. I only knew that I was being hunted by forces I could not control. They wanted me, so much so that they have been chasing me for years. I tried not to imagine what would happen if they ever caught me. But I believed that it would be a fate worse than death, seeing that as far as I knew, I couldn't die.

A wolf was the first creature that tried to kill me and I can still remember how scared I was. The second creature that tried to kill me was a vampire and this happened when I returned to Los Angeles, believing that I had left all the drama back in Shreveport. I let my head fall into my hands and reminisced about that second encounter.

* * *

><p><em>When I had first seen him, I immediately stopped in my tracks. I was shocked by his appearance and presence in the isolated area. I remember that it didn't take me long to figure out what he was or to discover the motive for the craving and crazed look in his eyes.<em>

_Hunger._

_The vampire had grinned as he moved closer to me. For a brief second, he stopped in his tracks and raised his eyebrows in a questioning way, silently challenging me to react._

_He had assumed that I would fight for my life. He had expected me to scream for help. Or perhaps, to try and run away from him. The look in his dark eyes suggested that he expected me to try to fight him. But honestly, we both already knew that there was nothing I could do to stop him._

_I remained unmoving and stared at him without breathing or blinking as he slowly sauntered towards me. When I could feel his cool breath on my neck, I closed my eyes and accepted my certain fate._

_I didn't have anything to fight for anymore._

* * *

><p>I raised my head and my thoughts flowed back to the present. I still couldn't understand how I had made it out alive. After that vampire left me for dead, I was able to regenerate. The bite marks healed. My blood grew strong. I was alive. Ever since then, I've been running, never staying in one place for too long, and always moving at night.<p>

This part of my life had started when I first came to Louisiana. I somehow got lost and ended up in a small town called Bon Temps. There, I was able to find a small job and eventually save up for the first month's rent on a house I fell in love with in the neighboring city Shreveport. I moved in and settled; but money soon began to run out and I found myself needing a better paying job. And that's when I found Fangtasia.

Within my first week working there, things began to unravel. I started to lose the only things I had in this world: my brother, my identity, my life and my sanity. I thought by leaving Shreveport, I could gain back what I had lost. But I was wrong. Everything had changed.

Now, I was back in this twisted life of mine searching for answers. There was only one person with the answers I needed so desperately to start a new life. Answers I needed to stop running, to finally understand what I am, and most importantly…to live.

That one person that had it in his power to decide my fate?

His name is Eric Northman.

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think so far! I would love to hear your thoughts (:<br>**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thought I'd upload another chapter today...I'd love to hear what you think so far (:**

* * *

><p>Chapter 2<p>

As the darkness of the night faded and a new day began, I sat on the bed, reliving the first time I met Eric Northman. Although my human memories had begun to fade, I could still remember every detail of this encounter. Every emotion and thought I had that night still swirled around in my mind.

* * *

><p><em>As I approached the vampire bar Fangtasia, a dash of anxiety started to cloud my mind. Butterflies erupted through my stomach and made their way to the rest of my body with every step I took closer to the entrance. Most people would have definitely been afraid to walk into a vampire bar. I wasn't one of them. In fact, I'm not sure if I ever feared vampires like most people did. To me, vampires were basically like people—especially because at one point in their lives, they were human. This would be like any other job—and I needed it badly to pay my rent. From what I could see, the building looked like a normal business. There were no coffins, bats, or no other vampire clichés. The only indicator that I was at a vampire bar was the sign. <em>

"_Fangtasia. That's cute," I muttered. _

_I placed a hand on the door and then retracted it. Reaching into my bag, I pulled out a mirror so I could look at myself in the small compact. I had bright blue eyes, nearly translucent skin, and long black hair. I looked great in my leather jacket, black tank top, jeans, and Doc Martens. With a sigh, I pulled open the unlocked door and walked in._

_I walked down the short hall and into the main part of the bar. As I looked around, I noted that everything bit of the decor in the room was done in shades of red, black, or gray. As I had expected, the lighting in the room was dim, but what I hadn't expected were the ironic signs that read "No biting on the premises". I couldn't help but smirk at those. I had read online how the tourists flocked to this place to get glimpses at vampires, but tonight there wasn't the usual bunch of eager tourists. Instead, the bar was deserted…except for a skinny blonde with short hair that was wearing a silver spandex bikini top. She was wiping the bar down with a rag and then glanced briefly at me._

_"Here for the job interview?" she asked with a thick southern accent. I nodded and followed the blonde's gaze to a hallway leading away from the main floor._

_"He's waiting for you in the office," she said and went back to wiping the bar._

_I weaved around a few tables and over to the hallway. With every step, I found that my breathing became more erratic and my heart pounded louder and louder. I wasn't really sure why I was reacting this way…I knew my purpose. It's just a job, I repeated in my mind. You need the money. I had made it down the hallway and was now in front of a door. I knocked. _

_"Enter," said a voice. I pushed open the door._

_I barely glanced around the office. My attention went directly to the rather large vampire sitting at a desk. He didn't glance up or acknowledge my presence at first, so I was able to stare at him. He was probably the most radiant person I had ever seen, with his short blond hair and defined features. He was undoubtedly tall; his broad shoulders were another indication of his size. I could see that he was wearing a black sleeveless shirt that showed off his defined arms. The vampire had yet to look at me, so I cleared my throat. He finally looked up and his blue eyes met mine briefly before they moved to the rest of my body very slowly. I cleared my throat again. I didn't really appreciate the way he had been looking at me. His eyes snapped back to my face._

_"Well aren't you sweet," he said in a voice that gave me chills. I detected a hint of an accent that had probably faded with time. I blinked a few times, somewhat surprised by his approach, but then regained my composure._

_"Not particularly," I replied. The vampire stared at me a moment before smirking._

_"Your name?" he asked._

_"Carson Gardner," I said._

_"Well Carson Gardner, what brings you to Fangtasia this lovely summer evening?" He asked coolly._

_"I saw your ad in the paper and I think I could be of some assistance," I answered._

_The vampire leaned forward on his desk and looked up at me. "Take a seat," he said and I sat down in the chair across from the vampire and was now almost eye level with him._

_"Tell me, what kind of assistance could you provide for me?"_

_I narrowed my eyes. I caught on to his suggestive tone. Ever since the Great Revelation occurred, so many humans were turning into vampire groupies and I was starting to believe that this vampire viewed me as one. _

_"You mean aside from being your dinner?" I asked bluntly. He raised an eyebrow at me and was going to answer but before he could, I cut him off._

_"I'm a bartender and I'm also pretty familiar with music systems. I have a resume if you'd like to look at it."_

_Without waiting for an answer, I pulled out a manila folder that held all of my work information and held it in front of him. So far, I wasn't sure what direction this interview was headed in…but I refused to play nice with someone who saw me as some sort of toy. The vampire grabbed my resume and started flipping through the references; all but one was from my brother. He didn't seem to be reading through them, but then something peaked his interest._

_"You have worked at the night club Pulse in Los Angeles? From what I've heard, it is difficult to get a job there."_

_"I'm close with the owner," I shrugged._

_"In what way?" the vampire asked._

_"He's my brother."_

_"Interesting," He said while nodding. He closed the folder and handed it back to me. "But something doesn't quite add up, Miss Gardner."_

_I tilted my head in confusion, not sure of what couldn't add up. _

_"What doesn't add up is that while your brother owns probably the most efficient clubs in the west, you would rather work here for me. I'm curious to know what your brother thinks about this."_

"_It's not my brother's life," I responded. "I'm an adult and free to make my own decisions."_

_The vampire stared at me with an unreadable expression but them his mouth twisted upward into an intimidating smirk. He slouched back in his chair._

_"Miss Gardner, while you maybe an adult you're rather naïve. You are not thinking about what you could be getting yourself into…"_

_My patience was starting to wear thin. He had gone from suggestive to condescending in a matter of minutes. I wondered if he acted this way with all of the people he interviewed._

_"Yes I do," I replied, rather annoyed. "Do you think I'm that stupid that I don't know what vampires are capable of?"_

_"No, I think you're human. You would do anything for sheer entertainment even if it meant risking your life."_

_My mouth dropped open in surprise, yet the vampire's face remained blank, his blue orbs were focused on me, silently challenging me and waiting for my rebuttal. I couldn't believe that he had the audacity to just assume that about me._

_"Well, Miss Gardner do you have anything to say for yourself?" He asked, obviously amused by me. I closed my mouth and my jaw locked. I said nothing as I stood up and turned towards the door. I began to walk but then stopped and turned to face him._

_"Actually, I do have something to say for myself. You don't have the right to automatically judge me when you know nothing about me. I am not naïve or looking for fun. What I'm looking for is a job because I need to pay my rent. And according to you, I did work at the best club in the west, so I do have some kind of potential. But instead, I'm being treated like I'm just some vampire chew toy!" I paused and took a breath. "And quite frankly, this has been a waste. I'm sorry, Mr. whatever your name is for wasting your time." I spun on my heel and moved to turn towards the door, not hearing the vampire's silent advance towards me. _

_"Carson?" I turned slightly to see that the vampire was now in front of me. His large muscular body towered over my slender one, and he moved closer, so now I was practically pressed up against the door. His blue eyes looked ice cold and they narrowed as he began to speak._

_"Let me inform you of something," He said and I heard a small click. He opened his mouth to reveal his pointed fangs._

_I wasn't pissed off anymore. Now, I was just pain scared. _

_"My name is Eric Northman. I was turned over a thousand years ago and I'm the owner of this fine establishment. Never once over those years has a human spoken to me like that before. The ones that tried were killed shortly after. However, while it would be easy for me to end your life, I wouldn't want to ruin that flawless skin of yours." His rather large hand came up to the side of my face but I jerked away before he could touch me. He let out a low growl before retracting his fangs and moved back to his place behind the desk._

_"You'll start tomorrow night," He stated._

_I scoffed, because in all honesty, I was over this. But what had I really expected to happen? I would just saunter in here and they'd throw the job at me? I should have known better._

_"What makes you think I would want to work for you after that?"_

_Eric chuckled and looked me straight in the eye. "Like I said before, you would do anything for the entertainment even if it meant risking your life. If that wasn't true, you would have never come here in the first place. The choice is yours. Either show up tomorrow or don't bother coming here again."_

_I raised my eyebrows but said nothing as I placed my hand on the doorknob._

_"Oh, and Carson?" I turned._

_"You didn't waste my time. In fact, I thought you were rather...entertaining."_

_"Bite me," I muttered as I stepped out of the office. As I pulled the door shut, I think I heard Eric reply._

_"Believe me, I intend to."_

* * *

><p>That first encounter with Eric Northman had permanently altered the course of my life. My world had been flipped upside down and in order to fix the remaining bits of my life, I needed his help. I couldn't do it without him.<p>

I was completely immersed in thought when I heard a knock on the door.

A knock? My heart stopped.

The first thought that went through my head was that they found me. Whether they were wolves or something else, I had been found. And they were here to attempt to kill me.

I went into panic mode and searched desperately around the room for an escape. The only way out was the door—I was trapped. I quickly thought about my options. I could ignore whoever was on the other side and hope they didn't bust down the door. My eyes moved into the bathroom where I could see my gun. I decided that I would fight my way out again.

I got up from the chair and went into the bathroom. As my fingers grazed against the gun, I heard it again. Three knocks, and then silence. The gun was secure in my hand and I made my way to the door. I took a deep breath as I placed a hand on the lock, turned it, and then moved my hand to the doorknob. I aimed the gun and I opened the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to everyone who is following this story or reviewed. It means so much to me (: **

Chapter 3

With impeccable speed, my finger was on the trigger, ready to fire. When I saw who was on the other side of the door, I felt complete and utter shock radiate throughout my body. My breathing ceased altogether and the gun fell limply out of my hands and to the ground. My body became very still—at that point, I couldn't have made myself move even if I wanted to. I blinked a few times in disbelief, not sure if the sight in front of me was even real. It seemed completely impossible.

"Eric," I said. It was barely a whisper.

My memories of him had not done him justice. He was even more radiant than I remembered, dressed in tight black pants and a simple gray v-neck. His shirt hugged his form tightly and I could almost see the outline of his abs. His hair was slicked back in the usual way he wore it, but it looked shorter than the last time I'd seen him.

Eric didn't say anything, but continued to stare down at me, unleashing the full force of his eyes on mine. His gaze was as intense as ever and his blue eyes were even brighter than I remembered. Suddenly, without warning, he raised his hand and held it out to me. His action took me by surprise and I stared at him, searching his face for some kind of explanation. In his eyes, I saw an emotion that I can only describe as desire. There had been a time when I was completely uninterested in the way he looked at me, but now...the look in his eyes was the sexiest thing in the world.

Without really understanding why, I placed my hand in his and chills shot down my spine as my overheated skin met his cool hand. He closed the door behind him and slowly, he moved closer to me, pulling me into his arms. My body felt like it was going to explode as he pressed the length of his muscular body against mine. His fingers trailed along the nape of my neck before moving to my face, gently tracing the outline of my lips. I opened my mouth and inhaled his scent—it reminded me of the ocean.

"Carson," he whispered. "You. Are. Mine."

My breathing ceased with every word he said. I couldn't understand his reaction to me—but the last thing I wanted to do was question his motives. I want him, I thought. I've always wanted him. And before I can speak, he leaned down and his lips met mine. He kissed me gently at first, but then his mouth became more urgent on mine. I opened my mouth and moaned and he took the opportunity to slide is tongue into my mouth which made me moan again.

"Let's take this off, shall we?" he said reaching for my shirt and gently pulling it over my head, leaving me standing in my bra and jeans. Before I could even ask him to, he tugged off my jeans leaving me practically naked. If it had been anyone else in this situation, I would have been embarrassed immediately. But right now, Eric consumed my thoughts and desire pulsed through my body. I heard the familiar click of his fangs, but wasn't even scared. I wanted this. I wanted him. Now.

He held me tighter to him and I could feel his length pressed against my stomach. He eased me towards the bed until I felt it against the back of my knees. He moved down with vampire speed and I realize that he pulled off my socks and shoes. Then, he began to undress, first undoing the buttons on his jeans and slowly pulling them down with his boxer briefs, followed by his shirt. My mouth fell open—I was completely amazed at the site of him naked. He's utter perfection.

He moved closer to me, hovering above me. I moved back further onto the bed and his hands grazed across my hips before tugging off my underwear. His hands then moved to my bra and unhooked it, leaving the both of us completely naked.

"The most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he muttered approvingly. He leaned down and began kissing my stomach around my bellybutton and then moving his lips across my breasts, making me moan and I felt a burning desire flow throughout my body. Eric kissed my neck before moving up so we were face to face, his blue eyes intent on mine. My breathing was completely erratic as he kissed me once again and pulled back, searching my face for something. When I realized he was asking my permission, I nodded and he gave me that trademark Eric Northman grin. He positioned himself at my opening and with one swift thrust, he was inside of me.

I cried out from the fullness of him. At first, he stayed still, letting me get used to the feeling of him inside of me. Slowly, he eased himself out of me before thrusting into me again. He repeated the process and I began to move my hips in rhythm with his. Eric continued to thrust and then his speed quickened, leaving me breathless.

All I could feel is the sensation. There's only me…only him…only us. I could feel myself tightening around him. I'm so close—

My eyes fluttered open and I gasped for air, feeling confused and disoriented. I became aware of my surroundings and realized that I was on the bed. In one swift movement, I was sitting up and I looked around the room. Eric was nowhere to be seen. In an attempt to slow my breathing, I placed a hand on my chest, feeling it rise and fall—but that wasn't all I felt. I sighed in relief as I felt the familiar fabric of my shirt. I looked down to see that I was wearing my jeans and shoes as well. Then, the cloudy and distant memory came back to me...I was having a sex dream about Eric!

When I came to that realization, I quickly got off the bed and paced back and forth in the room; my breathing was erratic and my thoughts were in a jumble. I couldn't believe I was dreaming about Eric in that way—but what really irked me was the fact that I had fallen asleep. Since everything that had happened, I hardly slept anymore. It wasn't safe for me to be completely passed when there were creatures that wanted me dead. I mentally kicked myself for falling asleep. But my thoughts began to drift back to my dream...

"No!" I said aloud. "Don't even go there."

The room was rather stuffy and given what had just happened, I decided I needed to get some air. But I also needed to leave as well. I never stayed in the same place for long. I walked over to the bathroom. My gun was still sitting in its holster on the counter and I grabbed it and placed it in my backpack. I surveyed the room to make sure I had my few belongings and after a moment, I grabbed the room key and walked out towards the small office. Tonight, there was a middle-aged woman sitting in the office, and she didn't ask questions as I handed her the key and the room payment. The door slammed behind me as I began my walk into the Shreveport night.

There was no storm tonight, but it was still humid outside, and I constantly wiped the beads of perspiration off my forehead. I walked a few blocks past some businesses and homes but the further I went, the more quiet the city began. Very few cars passed me when I was walking and the night was silent other than the distinctive chirp of crickets. I stopped in my tracks and looked left then right. I shook my head and groaned in frustration. I was lost.

I mentally kicked myself yet again. The last time I was in Shreveport, I was here for a few weeks at the most and hadn't gotten the chance to learn my way around the city. I could get to Fangtasia...but only from my house. My house, I thought and I was flooded with memories of the home I had lived in. When I had left in such a hurry, I hadn't even packed all of my belongings. I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes began to water, but I shook it off. I couldn't think about that right now. I had to figure out where the hell I was.

I followed the road I was on for several more blocks and eventually, I found myself at a sign. To the left was Monroe and to the right was Bon Temps. I stood there for a second thinking about my next course of action.

I had been to Bon Temps before and had briefly worked in a bar and grill there called Merlotte's. I knew a lot of the people that lived there and I knew that if I asked, my friend and ex-boss, Sam Merlotte would help me. It made sense for me to head there instead of wandering around Shreveport. My questions for Eric would have to wait another day.

I turned right and began the twenty mile trek to Bon Temps. I walked briskly—the warm summer air felt good on my skin and did wonders for getting my mind off the dream. I looked in front of me and behind me to see that the road was deserted. A normal girl would have probably been scared…but after everything that had happened, hardly anything scared me anymore. The loaded gun in my backpack also helped with my confidence. I walked down the dark road, but my journey was soon illuminated by street lights. I listened to the sounds of the night, but then I heard another noise. It was a familiar sound that I knew all too well…the sound of a vampire moving with inhuman speed. I stopped dead in my tracks and quickly reached into my backpack, pulling out my gun. I desperately wished I had invested in some wooden bullets. I wasn't sure if the vampire knew I was there, so I looked around searching for an escape. There were trees—but the branches were too high. I decided I would hide behind some bushes and hope that the vampire didn't pick up on my scent. If it did, I could use the gun...but the gun was good for killing werewolves. I wasn't sure it'd do much damage to a vampire. Maybe I could disorient it long enough to phase and attack it. I quickly darted over to the bushes and waited. My breathing was quiet and the gun was held strategically in my steady hands. And then I saw it. The vampire was on the road and sped right past me—all I saw was the blurry outline of a body. I sighed in relief as the vampire went out of sight and decided to continue my walk in the shadows and off the main road. It'd be safer that way. I walked for a few more minutes when I saw the vampire again. I stopped once again and ducked behind another bush and looked at him. He was undoubtedly tall with broad shoulders and long legs. On the lit road, I could make out that he wasn't wearing a shirt and was just dressed in jeans. I tilted my head in confusion…something seemed weird about this. What would a vampire be doing out here without a shirt on? I gasped. There was something utterly familiar about the vampire's stride and large form. Without hesitation, I jumped out from behind the bushes and onto the road.

"Eric!" I yelled and started walking towards him. He didn't seem to hear me and continued to walk in the same direction. My walk soon broke into a run and within a few seconds, I was right behind him. He didn't turn to acknowledge me at all.

I tried again. "Eric, what are you doing out here?" I asked and finally, he turned to look at me. The expression on his face was something I had never seen before. It was a look of pure confusion…Eric looked lost.

He opened his mouth to speak. "Wh-who are you?" he stuttered. I tilted my head, surprised at his response.

"Eric, I know it's been a while…but it's me. Carson."

"Who?" he asked again. What the hell was going on?

I huffed. "Eric, I worked for you for a couple of weeks. You ruined my life. Sound familiar? You know perfectly well who I am."

He shook his head. "No I don't," he said and continued to walk, leaving me standing in the middle of the road utterly confused. Then, he stopped and began to sniff the air around him. He turned and looked at me and I heard another audible sniff.

My breathing ceased as I heard the familiar click and he opened his mouth to reveal his fangs.

He was hungry.

**Thanks for reading! Please leave a review and let me know what you think so far (:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to those who have reviewed, read, or added this story to their favorites. It means so much to me!**

Chapter 4

"Eric?" I repeated as he began to advance forward. I raised the gun and pointed it directly at his chest.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you," I warned. He stopped, but I could recognize the bloodlust in his eyes.

"Why do you smell like that?" he asked. I didn't respond as he took a step closer. I put my finger on the trigger. A voice in my head told me that I should just pull the trigger after everything he did to me. But I needed answers from him.

"You smell like the ocean, lavender…and sunlight," he said as he inhaled the air around him. He was now about a foot away from me. Then, he let out a low growl as he took a few more steps. He obviously wasn't getting the message. Before he was inches away from me, I aimed at his shoulder and pulled the trigger. The shot rang throughout the woods and was followed by a piercing scream from Eric. The bullet pierced his skin and exited through his back. He reached for his shoulder and looked down at the gunshot wound, blood pooling around the area.

"What did you do that for?!" he yelled. "You hurt me!"

"Because!" I retorted back while lowering the gun and sliding it into my backpack. "You weren't listening to me and I know you're hungry. Plus, after all the fucked up shit you've done to me, you deserved it!" I spun on my heel and stomped away, furious at his behavior.

He cried out in pain, causing me to turn around. From what I could see, he was already healing.

"Oh shut up," I said, while rolling my eyes. "You're a vampire for crying out loud. You're already healing."

"I know what I am! I just don't know who you are…or who I am, for that matter."

That got my attention. "Wait, what? What do you mean you don't know who you are?" At that moment, I wasn't sure if I bought into this act, but clearly there was something off about him. He lacked the arrogance and coolness he once possessed. He looked utterly confused. Vulnerable, even.

"If this is some sort of act," I continued, "Eric, I swear I'll—"

"It's not an act!" he interrupted. "It's true."

"Okay," I sighed. "Then what's the last thing you do remember?"

"I don't know," Eric said, frustrated. "I don't know," he repeated. "The sea maybe…home."

His eyes trailed off past me as if he was trying to remember something. Something that was already lost.

"Eric, focus!" I said, bringing him back to the present. "What happened?"

"Her eyes…They were reaching into me…emptying me," his voice was unnatural. He sounded nothing like the vampire I had met all those years ago. There was something in his voice that sounded foreign to me. It took me a moment, but I recognized that what I heard in Eric Northman's voice was fear.

"She was in a circle with others. They were chanting," he continued. "And everything I was…was taken from me," he concluded.

As broken as his story was, it scared me. This clearly wasn't the Eric Northman that I knew. The one that had destroyed my life and along with it, my identity. He just looked so…helpless. I never imagined that was even possible for him. It was so foreign…to see him look like this… look so human.

"Alright," I said after a moment. "We'll figure this out. We'll get to a phone and give Pam a call. She'll know what to do."

"Who's Pam?" he asked. I stared incredulously at him.

"She's your progeny. You made her," I answered. For a brief second, I saw his eyes drift to the base of my throat.

"Hey!" I yelled. "If I'm going to help you, you will not bite me. Got it?"

He nodded. "I swear it," Eric said.

"Okay. Well, we'll head back to the motel I was staying at, and we'll go from there."

I turned to walk back to Shreveport and he followed, trailing closely behind me.

"I am grateful for this," he mumbled.

"Yeah," I replied nonchalantly. I was somewhat in a daze as we walked back to the motel. I had no idea what could have possibly happened to Eric. I couldn't help but wonder if vampires could suffer from memory loss.

"I do know you?" Eric asked, breaking the silence between us. A couple of hundred feet ahead of us, I saw the motel.

"You do," I said as I kept walking. We were now within a couple feet of the motel. As we neared the reception desk, I turned to Eric.

"You wait here," I told him. "You shouldn't go in the office looking like that."

If my appearance last night had thrown off the person working at the front desk, then Eric would have frightened them to death. His hair was messy and his feet were caked with mud. Not to mention, the blood that stained his skin from when I shot him.

He hesitantly nodded and I left him standing on the side of the building. I walked into the office to see that the same man from last night was behind the desk.

He looked up at me. "You again, huh?" I shrugged. He slid keys across the counter and I signed the ledger. I gave the man one last look before exiting the office. Eric was still waiting for me in the shadows. I waved over to him and he followed me to the room.

I opened the door and went inside, flicking the lights on. Eric followed close behind. I turned to look at him and saw that he had left rather large muddy footprints in the doorway.

"Shit," I said, looking at the stains and shaking my head.

"Sorry," he mumbled, looking apologetic.

"So…how about we get you into the bathroom and we can get you cleaned up, okay?" I walked to the bathroom and turned on the tub. When it was nearly full, I waved him over. He sat on the edge of the tub and turned to put his feet in the water.

"Wait here," I said. "I'll call Pam."

He nodded and I walked into the bedroom to the phone and dialed the number from memory. After two rings, the person who I needed answered.

"Good evening. Fangtasia, northern Louisiana's most fantastic club, what do you want?" Pam sighed annoyingly.

"Pam! Hey, it's Carson. I don't know if you remember me, but—"

"Carson," she purred. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, it's Eric. I found him walking on the side of the road and he doesn't remember anything. He doesn't know who I am or who he is. We're at the motel outside of town in the first room." The other side of the phone went dead.

"Pam? You there? Hello?" I breathed out heavily and shook my head. Hopefully, she was on her way here. I turned my attention back to Eric who was still sitting on the edge of the tub, his blue orbs focused on me. I walked over to him and looked in the water, pleased to see that the majority of the mud had soaked off of his feet. But there was still the blood on his shoulder. I grabbed one of the towels from the towel rack and dipped it in the water. By now, the water had cooled and it was cold. I winced, wondering if it bothered Eric.

"It's fine," he said, reading my expression.

"Let me clean that for you," I said with a nod towards his shoulder. I lifted the towel to his shoulder and meticulously began to scrub the dried blood. After I had gotten most of it off, I rinsed the towel and started to wipe his skin more gently. He jerked and I looked at him to see he was smiling.

"It tickles," he said simply. I shook my head and shrugged. I cleaned him for another minute or so, refusing to let my eyes meet his face. Something in my head clicked and I started to remember my dream from earlier today.

"You're blushing," Eric said, causing me to look him in the eyes. I tried to look away, but he captured my face in his large hand. I didn't jerk away like I had during our first encounter.

"You are very beautiful," he said slowly as his eyes trailed my face. I was beginning to get lost in his eyes…

I opened my mouth to respond as the door swung open and Pam rushed into the room.

"Whothefuckisshe?" Eric yelled, and propelled himself up and out of the tub with his vampire speed.

"Fuck!" Pam exclaimed.

"Sorry, that was rude of me," Eric apologized and looked down at his feet. I looked from Pam to Eric and back to Pam.

"You found him like this?" Pam asked me. I nodded.

"What do you know about what happened to you?" Pam asked Eric. He said nothing, just stared at her for a moment before he looked at me.

"You have to hide him," Pam told me, her voice distressed. My eyes widened and I gaped at her.

"Pam, no fucking way! After all he did—"

"He's in danger!" Pam retorted.

"He's your maker and that makes him your responsibility!" I shot back.

"Carson, I'll be the first place they look."

"They?" I asked.

"The witches!"

"The witches…" I paused. "First I get involved with vampires, then werewolves, and now witches? No fucking way. Not for you and especially not for him after he royally fucked up my life. This," I pointed at Eric. "This is not my problem!" I crossed my arms across my chest, refusing to back down. I'd be damned if I'd let Pam push Eric off on me.

"Well, actually it is your problem seeing as he bought that shitty little house of yours!" Pam snarled. I looked at her in disbelief.

"H-he wouldn't have," I whispered. I looked at Eric, searching for an answer that right now, in his current state, he couldn't give me. A part of me refused to believe that he had bought my home…but as I remembered how possessive Eric Northman once was, it made sense.

"Carson, I think that Eric was set up to go to that coven here in Shreveport. I think that King Bill Fucking Compton tried to get rid of him."

"King who?" I asked. I was barely familiar with vampire hierarchy, but I thought that there had been a Queen of Louisiana, not a king.

"That doesn't matter right now," Pam said shortly. "Just promise me that you'll keep Eric safe. If Bill knew, he would use this as an excuse to get the AVL to sign off on assassinating Eric, I know he wants to. Eric needs to stay with you in your house and no one can know."

I stared at Pam, not sure how to respond. My life was complicated enough without all of this going on. But as much as I hated to admit it, I needed Eric's help. Maybe I could help him get through this and then when he was back to normal, get the answers I needed. He would definitely owe me one. I turned to look at Eric and I couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt. He looked absolutely miserable.

"Fine," I said after a substantial amount of silence. "I'll do it."

**Let me know what you think (: **


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's another chapter for you...I'm currently at Comic- Con and the atmosphere is great. I also got some True Blood merch...and a little Eric Pop figure (;**

Chapter 5

Pam had left Eric and I standing outside of the house I once dreamt of owning. A couple miles away from Fangtasia, there was a small one-story house with a porch. When I first moved in, the house had been painted with muted shades of blue, but looking at it now, I saw that Eric had restored it; it was now steel grey with a white trim. I still had trouble coping with the fact that Eric had bought my house, but in reality, it was never mine. I had lived here only a month in a half before I had to leave.

I ascended the stairs with Eric trailing close behind me. As I slid the key into the look and opened the door, the lights turned on. I walked into the house slowly, not sure what to expect. My eyes examined the room, taking in every new addition. After a moment, I decided that the house was now immaculate; Eric had made the house sleek and modern. I really liked it. Eric's voice brought my out of my thoughts.

"Wow, this really is my house," he said approvingly moving to the leather couch and running his fingers along the cushion.

"Yeah, it is," I muttered. It wasn't mine anymore. It never was.

"And you live here, in my house?" he asked.

"No. This actually used to be my house. But when I left Shreveport, I guess you bought it."

"Why did I buy your house?" Eric questioned. I shrugged, not really understanding why he would have done that.

"You must have been very important to me," he concluded.

I scoffed, not really wanting to respond to that. Eric broke the silence.

"Are you mine?" he asked curiously.

"Definitely not," I said shaking my head.

"Do you belong to another vampire?" he tried.

"Absolutely not," I combated. He looked at me, eyes focused on mine.

"Would you like to be mine?" he asked sounding somewhat hopeful.

"I—" I stopped looking around the room. I looked out the window to see that the night was beginning to fade away. Feeling grateful for being able to end the conversation, I responded.

"Eric, we should get you to bed. It's going to be daytime." Without waiting for him to respond, I walked down the hall to the bedroom. Eric had updated that room as well…There was now a large king size bed in the center of the room with a fur comforter. Next to the bed was a side table; several books were stacked on top of each other. I walked over and read the titles, seeing some were in another language I presumed to be Swedish. I was glad to see another improvement he had made: Light tight windows. I turned to see that Eric was sitting on the edge of the bed, studying me.

"Goodnight," I told him without meeting his eyes, moving across the room and closing the door. I went to the living room and flopped down on the sofa. I ran my fingers through my hair, contemplating my current situation.

The only reason I returned to Shreveport was for Eric Northman. To demand answers from him, to understand what I was. But the Eric Northman I needed was gone, replaced with one I didn't entirely understand. Maybe he would overcome his current state and get his memories back. Then again, maybe he would be stuck like this forever, meaning he would be no use to me. I could leave, I thought. Try and start a new life with a new name in a new city. But no matter where I was, it seemed that something was always hunting me, whether that was vampires or werewolves. Even if I left now, it wouldn't matter.

Taking care of Eric would be simple. I would have to make sure he was fed, out of sight, and safe until Pam could get a witch to fix him. Truthfully, I had no desire to help him. Not after what happened. He had exploited me, used me for my blood, and triggered something in me…something raw and animalistic that turned me into a monster.

When Eric had hired me that night years ago, something about me sparked his interest. Then, I assumed that he was thinking of ways he could use me for my blood and my body. Now, I knew and understood his true intentions. He knew, from the moment I stepped into Fangtasia, that I was different. I wasn't human, not entirely. Inside me, a recessive trait lurked, waiting to be developed. The trait blossomed when my blood came into contact with Eric's blood after he had tricked me into drinking from him. I began to feel sick shortly afterwards. I lay in this very room for three days, feeling as if I was dying. Little did I know that I was transitioning from a human into something else entirely. From the start, Eric knew I was different. He knew that if triggered, the trait was powerful and I could be very useful to him.

After three days of being in pure agony, I completed my transition. I was no longer human. I was a shapeshifter.

I was a Lycanthrope.

**This chapter was short...but I will explain more in the next chapter. If you review, of course (;**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's my explanatory chapter...hopefully things will make a little more sense. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, added it to their favorites/alerts...It's great to see that people are interested in reading my ideas. I'd appreciate any feedback you have (: - Brittany**

Chapter 6

When Eric Northman first introduced me to the possibility that I wasn't human, I laughed at him. Naturally, I didn't believe his preposterous accusation. Although, ever since I was a child, there was something in me that had always made me feel as if I was different in some way. It was because of this feeling that I decided to pursue the notion. I immersed myself in various books and much to my dismay, monster websites. After a week of searching through myths and monster legends, I gave up. Nothing fit nor made sense. Eric's accusation was wrong and I mentally kicked myself for believing that it could be true.

Not long after that, I ran into some trouble on the way home from work. A vampire that had been watching me work all night followed me after closing. He cornered me in an alley wanting to drink from me and my screaming is what caused Eric to come to my rescue. Although the altercation had been brief, the vampire had managed to bite my forearm. Eric had insisted that I take his blood and I did without thinking twice about it.

The next day, I had decided that I would take a break from Fangtasia, Shreveport, and Eric and head home to Los Angeles for a few days. Ultimately, a conversation between Eric and Pam that occurred the previous night is what gave me the answer to what I was. Although their discussion was in Swedish, they used my name along with this word: varulv. Upon running an internet search, I learned that the direct translation of this word was werewolf. More searching led me to the word lycanthrope. Before I could go to Fangtasia to tell Eric about my findings, the fever began to set in. By then, it was already too late.

Specifically, lycanthropy is blood-borne disease. There are various ways to contract it, such as the occasional bite from a werewolf. In my case, it was contracted through Eric's blood. I was adopted by the Gardners as a child, so I never knew my biological parents. One of them passed onto me the recessive trait needed to become a lycanthrope. The trait manifested itself with the cultivation of Eric's blood and became dominant. Because it was vampire blood that nurtured the trait, a form of vampirism/lycanthropy coexisted inside of me. From what I comprehended, this meant that if I were to go through the process to become a vampire, I would retain my lycanthropic abilities, thus making me a vampire/lycanthrope hybrid.

I don't remember that first night entirely. I don't know how long I was in my animal form, but I can vaguely remember turning back into my human form. I was in an area I could only describe as a swamp and when I tried to move, I collapsed. Everything went black after that.

I didn't remember much of the first six months after my transformation. From my research, I learned that this response was normal; most lycanthropes had no recollection of their first months. As the first year passed, I began to have vivid nightmares. In these nightmares, the thing that was always present was blood. Wanting an explanation, I ended up learning that during their first six months, lycanthropes lost all sense of humanity and control. To this day, I still don't remember what I did. I just know it wasn't anything good.

I don't remember the details of my journey, but I remember a strong sense of fear. I remember being hunted. I remember that I never stopped running. I didn't understand how I had made it back to California, but I knew it was my home. I tried to settle and start over. But I could never really go back to how I used to be. I ended up leaving again. And I found myself thinking of Eric. If it wasn't for him, none of this would have happened to me. I absolutely hated that he turned me into a monster. Fueled by anger, I found myself traveling back to Shreveport. I hadn't been entirely sure what I would do when I found him again. For a moment, I contemplated killing him. He had taken everything away from me: my humanity, my life, my sanity. The thought of ending his long life seemed appealing for a while. But I then recognized that it wasn't me that wanted to kill him; it was the monster thriving inside of me. Killing Eric Northman would be me giving into the monster.

Now, the person responsible for changing my life lay asleep just in the other room. If I wanted to, I could kill him. But the monster inside of me remained silent. Perhaps it had been silenced by this new vulnerable Eric. Seeing him like that reminded me of someone I used to know very well…myself.

My mind raced. I thought of everything in the past, the present, and the future. I thought of the Eric with no recollection of who he was. I thought of my long journey back to Shreveport, desperate for some sort of resolution. I thought of this new version of myself that replaced the old me. As I shifted through hundreds of memories, I drifted into sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**I want to start by saying thank you to those who have continued to follow this story...everyone who has taken the time to review, add it to their alerts, or favorited it...THANK YOU. It's amazing people such as yourselves that keep me motivated to write. I love knowing that people care about what I have to say. Hope you enjoy this chapter (:**

Chapter 7

I wasn't sure of how long I slept, but the large shirtless vampire sitting on the floor in front of me indicated that I had slept long past sunset. I blinked at him a few times before sitting up and crossing my legs on the sofa.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked, running my fingers through my messy hair.

"Not that long," he replied, his voice small. "I didn't mean to startle you," he said apologetically. I shook my head.

"It's fine," I replied. He looked at me oddly, as if he wanted something but was too afraid to ask for it. After a moment, I understood what he wanted.

"You hungry?" I asked. He nodded his head eagerly. I stood up and started to move towards the kitchen. I hoped Eric would have at least a bottle of TruBlood on standby.

I opened the fridge to see that the only contents were a glass of blood. I took it out and held it to Eric. He took it and began to drink it down, not caring that it wasn't hot. I stood there awkwardly, not really sure what to do or say. Eric sensed my demeanor and stopped drinking.

"Is something wrong?" he asked. His blue eyes were wide and burning into mine. I looked away. I couldn't believe that not long ago, I imagined myself killing him. Right now, I couldn't even look at him.

"No," I sighed. I jumped on the counter and sat with my hands in my lap, refusing to look at Eric.

"You're uncomfortable with me," I heard him say. I shook my head.

"I must have done something horrible to you." It was the tone of his voice that caused me to look up at him. He had this look in his eyes, and I understood the emotions going on behind them. Fear. Shame. Guilt. This clearly wasn't the Eric that had destroyed my life. That turned me into something I loathed. No, this was a completely different person.

"You didn't hurt me," I lied. "You just made me realize some things about myself that I could have gone without knowing." That response seemed appropriate. I wanted to be honest with him, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"And what was that?"

"That I'm..." I trailed off, not knowing how to answer. Should I tell him what he did to me all those years ago? Should I tell him that in another life, he had triggered something in me that made me into a monster? I knew I wanted to be honest…but how could I be without making him feel even worse about himself? I had begun to accept that the Eric I knew was lost and I could not blame this new foreign Eric for what the other had done.

"I don't know what I did to you," Eric said, bringing me out of my thoughts. "But it was something bad."

I didn't answer him. My mind was scattered and I could not fathom a coherent thought. I needed air. I jumped off the counter and walked past Eric. "I need a minute alone," I muttered. I walked to the front door and opened it. I went outside and closed the door behind me, taking a seat on the porch steps.

I began to contemplate my current dilemma.

I felt like I was standing at a fork in a road, two different options with two different outcomes. Down one road, there was the Eric Northman I had met that first night at Fangtasia. That Eric was arrogant, stubborn, and had ulterior motives for hiring me. That Eric is the one that turned me into a lycanthrope. Looking down that road, I saw nothing but bad memories, manipulation, and pain. The other road consisted of this new person, one who had his memories erased. Not only were his memories gone, but everything that had made him the person I knew ceased to exist. He looked like the Eric I once knew, but he was clearly not that person. And now, I had to decide. Would I subjugate this new Eric to the utter hatred I felt for the old one? Would it be possible for me to put aside what happened? Eric had become a new person…was it possible for me to do the same? I stepped back and looked at the person I had become. Since I became a lycanthrope, I had clung onto the rage I felt for Eric for what he had done for me. At times, that rage was what kept me motivated to keep moving and not give up. Now, I wondered if that rage could be subsided in exchange for compassion. I heard the door open behind me and turned to see Eric standing there.

"Eric," I sighed.

"I know you wanted to be alone," he said. "And that is why I'm leaving."

I stood and looked up at him. "Eric, you can't leave. It's too dangerous out there. And Pam said you needed to stay out of sight."

"I don't care," he replied. "I see how you are with me. I don't know what kind of vampire I was, but it's clear that I did horrible things to you. Why would you want to help me?"

I shrugged. "Eric, you did do some pretty bad things. But that was a long time ago. And people are capable of changing."

He shook his head. "No. I refuse to burden you, not after the things I've done." He lifted his hand and slowly brought it to my face. This time, I didn't pull away. His fingers trailed along my jaw for a moment before he pulled away. For the first time tonight, I met his gaze without looking away.

"Your pain is my fault," he said. "I couldn't bare it if I were to hurt you again."

And with vampire speed, he was gone.

I stood there a moment before the reality truly hit me.

He was gone.

I knew instantly that I'd have to go after him. If I didn't, Pam would most likely kill me. But how would I find him? He sped away so swiftly—a human would have never been able to follow him. Then again, I wasn't human.

I knew what I had to do. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, searching my mind for the monster living inside of me. When I found it in the depths of my mind, it was sleeping soundly. It hadn't been woken for a long time. I called to it, yearning for it to take over. It was my only chance of finding Eric. I felt the monster begin to stir and then possess every fiber of my being. But I wasn't afraid of the monster. I was in control. White hot heat began to spread first at my core, then throughout my entire body. My bones began to break and contort, causing me to cry out. For a second, I thought about stopping. The pain was too much to tolerate—

Before I could stop, the process was complete. I had transformed into the monster—the wolf.

Although my body was no longer that of a human, my mind remained intact. I opened my eyes and the night was instantly illuminated. I could see every detail the night had to offer. From the moisture on a blade of grass, to the insects crawling along the cement—I saw everything. I took a breath and let my senses take over. My nose caught onto his scent; he had gone west.

I began to run as fast as I could, staying in the shadows. Weaving between trees in the darkness would have been a challenge for a human, but not for me. I let my improved senses guide me to Eric's location. For a moment, I stopped to take in my surroundings. I was a bit surprised to see that I was once again at the same road sign I had been at the night before. It was then I realized where Eric had gone. I continued running, but it wasn't long before I found him. He was sitting against a tree, not far from where I had originally found him that first night. I ducked behind some bushes, watching him. His back was towards me and I was grateful for that. I closed my eyes once again as I began to transition back into my human form. The monster protested, but I ignored it, letting my humanity take over. After a moment, the white hot heat began to retreat and I felt normal again. I opened my eyes, letting them trail down my body. I began to blush profusely. I was human, but there was one specific detail that had been destroyed in the process…my clothes. "Fuck," I exclaimed aloud, causing Eric to move to me with vampire speed. I screamed out of embarrassment, and ran away from him and hid behind a bush.

"Carson?" he asked warily. "Why are you…?"

"Never mind that," I said. "Just stay over there!"

He looked away, embarrassed. We both were.

"H-how did you find me?" he said after a moment.

"I followed your scent," I said. I decided then that I would be honest with him. "Eric, I'm not human. I haven't been for a long time…not since you came into my life. When I first met you, you suspected that I was different. And it was this suspicion that made you give me your blood. When that happened, it triggered something in me, something needed in order for me to become what I am today. I'm a lycanthrope."

I gave him a chance to speak and after a moment, he took it.

"Why did you follow me?" he asked.

I sighed. "Because the Eric Northman I once knew is gone. And replaced with him is someone who is lost and needs my help. How could I hold you accountable for something that you didn't do?" I paused. "For so long, I've been running. And now that the past has finally caught up with me, all I want to do is let go of it. I refuse to let hatred for you to be the only thing that keeps me going. I want to move on."

I watched Eric as he took in everything I had to say. I hadn't planned what I was going to say to him when I found him, but at that moment, I realized that what I said was true. I wanted to move on. I needed to move on with my life.

"Before I can move on, I need to help you. I need to have closure, Eric."

"You'll help me," he said. "And in return, I shall help you. I owe you for what I've done to you."

I nodded. "Okay. We should get you back. Just give me a moment." He nodded and I began to transform back into a wolf. The monster in me was grateful for getting to be released twice tonight. After I had made the transition, I came out from behind the bushes and walked over to Eric. I looked at him though my new eyes, taking him in. It was like I was seeing him for the first time.

I moved closer to him and nudged his hand with the top of my head to let him know I was still in here. He began to stroke my fur. I turned away from him and nodded in the direction of the house and began to run. He understood and followed close behind. As we ran, my thoughts began to change. I was no longer fueled by anger and resentment for Eric. Something else began to take over, something I didn't recognize at first.

It wasn't until we got back to the house that I realized that not only had I began to make my peace with Eric…I had begun to find peace within myself as well.

**Please, please, please review! I'd love to know what you think. **

**And to anyone who is a bit confused by the title of this story...that will start to make sense in the next chapter (; -Brittany**


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